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Glasgow, Ep. 2

September 7, 2011 — On a night when Scottish rain blurred the evening's sightlines with horizontal rain, those inside Mono witnessed Allan Wilson become the 1000th LDMer of all-time, though it was the ever-fabulous Kirsty Neary who out-smooched Alasdair Gray to topple co-finalist Katy McAulay, to win the Literary Death Match Glasgow crown. 

But well before Mr. Gray made a postered appearance, the night kicked off with Neary (author of Abstract/Concrete) up against Cargo Publishing's own writer/performer Anneliese Mackintosh. Neary dazzled out of the gate, staggering the eager audience back, before Mackintosh (click for VIDEO) punched magnificently back. 

The mic was then handed over the cast of all-star judges: author Lesley McDowell (author of Between the Sheets and The Picnic), comedian extraordinaire Jo Caulfield, and music and comedic mastermind/ballyhooist Lach (creator of Lach's Antihoot). Caulfield lauded Neary's endearing, pent-up aggression and thought of her as a heroine to all self-harming teenage girls, while Lach liked that his name was in her story ("latch"). About Mackintosh, McDowell loved her performance, with Caulfield following-up by loving Mackintosh's "marvelous use of arms." The judges then huddled, and, faced with a very difficult decision, advanced Neary as the night's first finalist. 

After a booze and vegan-food-fueled interval, the night resumed with story scribe Allan Wilson (who's Wasted in Love will release Oct. 11, 2011) versus the e'er magnetic fictionist Katy McAulay. Wilson led off, and was announced as the 1000th LDMer of all-time, and was first handed flowers and a haggis to celebrate the event's historic achievement by Cargo Publishing's Mark Buckland. He then reeled off a fantastic story (VIDEO here). That left McAulay with her work cut out, but shine she did, using sunglasses as a prop to showcase the different characters in what felt like a perfectly-executed radio play that had the crowd in stitches. 

The judges were again handed the mic, and poured praise on both contestants — adoring Wilson's accents; impressed by McAulay's non-eye-gouging use of sunglasses — and after another difficult choice, announced McAulay as the night's second finalist. 

Then up stepped LDM creator Todd Zuniga to announce the madcap finale that tasked each finalist with shooting a lipstick-tipped Nerf dart at the mouth of Alasdair Gray, with the one closest after three shots being crowned champ. Neary fired first, and true, finding the edge of Gray's lips, and none of McAulay's three shots — even though she's handy with a rifle — came as close, winning Neary the LDM medal, and literary immortality to go with it! 

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