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NYC, Ep. 13

April 23, 2009—Deemed the unluckiest Literary Death Match of them all, NYC Ep. 13 was anything but. A steamy and stuffed Pianos was the site of a literary night of festive genius, in which B.C. Edwards won a fierce final battle of “Baseball Chopstick War” against co-finalist Cheryl Wagner by a final tally of 6-3. Edwards’ chopstick talents etched his name into the annals of LDM history.

The night kicked off with a savage battle between Wagner (Five Dials) and Amy Lawless (Black Maze Books). After winning the Dreamlets toss by co-host Erin Hosier (to decide who read first), Wagner elected to lead off, reading a chuckle-inducing tale about New Orleans that kept the crowd wide-eyed. Next up was Lawless, who breezed through a sequence of mesmerizing poems filled with whale blubber and lasciviousness. After both readers went over the 8-minute time limit, co-host Todd Zuniga handed the mic to the night’s cast of all-star judges, Anna deVries (Scribner), Scott Adsit (30 Rock) and Richard Lawson (Gawker). After a string of crack-up comments--in which Adsit gently chided Lawless for the hipster way in which the poems fell from her mouth--the judges huddled, before declaring Wagner the night’s first finalist.

B.C Edwards warms up the crowd.After a four-second intermission, the night continued with Heidi Julavits (The Believer) going story-to-story with Edwards (pax americana). A Dreamlets-toss victory by Julavits had her leading off, a cautionary bar tale that captivated with flawless text turns and twists. Next up was Edwards who read a Moscow-inspired piece that had the packed crowd on the edge of their stools. The judges, up against another near-impossible decision elected Edwards as the night’s second finalist.

Then came the have to be seen to be believed finale that pitted Edwards against Wagner in the LDM’s first-ever (and last?) Baseball Chopstick War™. The goal was to use chopsticks to fling foam balls at “batters” (Adsit and deVries) in an attempt to score five points--three points for a head shot, two for a body shot, one point for hitting a batter in the foot. Once the bell sounded go, never before had the world seen two such chopstick-disabled citizens. Wagner and Edwards struggled with the wooden sticks, barely able to hold air, let alone a foam ball. Then lightning struck and Wagner clipped Adsit in the crown (3-0!), then Edwards retaliated with a headshot of his own (3-3!), but then both went ice cold, the crowd confused yet still cheering, and finally Edwards tossed a strike at deVries head, pulling off a rousing 6-3 victory, and winning the Literary Death Match crown!

See all the photos from this event here!

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  • Response
    The institute should take serious steps to stop bullying because it affects the environment of the whole institute. It destroys peace of the institute. The students instead of making new friends moves towards isolation. They avoid making contact with others.

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